PPH poli-wonks want time off? Here's how to get it

It is most folks’ contention that if you were ever to want to get fired or laid off, it would be far better to do it in the summer when you can enjoy your time off.

So for the political wonks, er, sorry, reporters, at the Pingree Press Herald here’s the perfect avenue for you to have your own “summer of George.”

First, when Chellie Pingree goes into detail about her accomplishment this term during the state Democratic Convention later this month, make sure you say she gave a “litany” of her achievements. Yeah, just try that. One of the definitions of litany is “a prolonged or tedious account.” You guys used “litany” in your description of Gov. LePage’s speech on Saturday to close the Republican Convention in Bangor, so isn’t what’s good for the goose, good for the gander. Well, yes, but not if you want to keep getting that paycheck. Union or no union, you’ll be out of a job.

And when Chellie Pingree talks about the good she has done for her constituents this term in Washington, make sure you say she “touted” her work. You guessed it. One of you political wonks, I mean reporters, used that to describe the governor’smessage.

For those of you who don’t know, one definition of “tout” is to “solicit, peddle, or persuade importunately.” And just in case you’re not a frequent flyer with “importunately,” let me tell you, it’s not good. It means “making repeated or annoying requests or demands and causing annoyance or trouble.”

Yes, the Pingree Press Herald, owned by billionaire Donald Sussman, who is the husband of Pingree, certainly knows how to slip in the negatives quite importunately, but not quite well enough for most Mainers.

Here’s a few other terms and descriptions you’re not likely to see in the upcoming account of Pingree’s speech at the end of this month that were inserted into the newspaper’s main news story on LePage’s speech.

*** It’s rather unlikely that Chellie will speak of alleged misdoings of the governor and Republicans in “a raspy growl.”

*** I rather doubt Chellie will be referred to as combative or confrontational.

 *** And when the audience erupts and gives her a standing ovation, I doubt it will be referred to as “an applause line.”

Of course you never know. I hear it’s going to be a gorgeous summer.