Doctor, doctor, give me the news: What's up with $2 trillion COVID aid 'disbelief' bill

Graphic/HT (Courtesy image/Yertle the Turtle)

On a faraway swamp named beltwayla

A scruncheon of scoundrels lives to this day

They hobknob about with a glint in their eye

but they care little about you and I.

They gurgle and gaggle and toggle and pout

They point fingers and jingers and boy do they shout

But what they like most is to put pen in hand

And write COVID relief checks to beat the band

Americans needs money, they say and they puffer

We have to get it out right fast or they'll suffer

So they wrote a bill and spent two trillion dollars

It had something for everyone as long as they hollers

Money for blue states that mismanaged money

They'll get their milk, they'll get their honey

And a tunnel not far from the speaker's home digs

It goes right to her hairdresser, Betty McBiggs

And they didn't forget our friends round the globe

There's $800 million for their food I am told

$800 million when our country's in debt

That's the part gets us clumquats really upset

And $10 mil to preserve Native American dialect?

Is that COVID relief? Or someone's pet project?

The Endowment for Humanities gets $135 million

There's something rotten in Denmark, I'm feelin'

And relief for the arts is also at hand

Another $135 millions I understand

And libraries been closed for most of a year

But they'll get $200 million to help them out here

Americans are suffering, so here's the big beef

Why only a dime on a dollar for pandemic relief?

The answer from above, from the skettlebums and such

From the prunerats and puddleducks that run amok much

Is leave this to experts, we know what we're doin

We throwing a lifeline so stop your booin'

But the $1,400 we get we'll spend in a day

It'll be our kids and grandkids who'll have to pay